Alright already, I’m starving! I haven’t seen an errant French fry, flung about by a wasteful human in months. WHERE ARE THE HUMANS? I’m a seagull, so a novel coronavirus means absolutely nothing to me. The fact there are no fries is a big deal!!!
I make my living mooching and believe me, humans are usually reliable for throwing us our share of fries. So it’s been a lonely, hungry Spring for us seagulls.
Read the May issue of Do Seagulls Get Wedgies here.
They do, sometimes.
Take for example, the seagull that stole a pair of hot pink knickers (truth be told, it was a thong) straight off a clothesline, only to be spotted minutes later wearing said garment over his head.
I mean, anybirdie with an ounce of self respect – and common sense, would agree that regardless of feather stripe, knickers don’t belong on yer head!
Welcome to Our New Page!
Each month will bring commentary on current happenings from a rather jaded, salty-beaked seagull’s point of new.
Now remember, seagulls are not like parrots, they tend to have saucier beaks and squawk endlessly of wildly exaggerated tales of adventure – usually involving the theft of knickers, fries or other tasty treats from unwitting humans. Seagulls are also not known for being polite as most have graduated from the school of Hard Knocks, having to learn how to survive and thrive on the edge!
So watch this space (page) for The Roost’s resident seagull’s perspective on anything and everything a bird can find in a parking lot, on the wing, underneath pooped-on newspaper, or something completely out of left birdie field!
P.S. A name for The Roost’s seagull would be most helpful (Morty had some suggestions, but let’s just say they aren’t repeatable!) so suggestions welcome!