The Landmark Interview: Beneath the Cage Grate

Here it is folks, the interview everybirdie has been waiting for! Morty travels to the UK to perch down with the 5 Cursing Parrots of Lincolnshire Park. In this in-depth investigative report, Morty uncovers the truth behind how the group managed to get into so much trouble.

Catch up with Morty here to hear about his big UK adventure, and what he uncovered about the rascals and wallflowers among the Fab Five of Lincolnshire Park!

Talkin’ Turkey with the Dingbots: Beneath the Cage Grate

Oh dear, it looks like Morty’s arch nemesis Alexa is at it again, wreaking havoc with Morty’s Thanksgiving’ turkey ambitions and planting the seeds for a festive Dingbot Jingles Christmas.

Listening to Alexa regarding cooking the Thanksgiving turkey was Morty’s first mistake….

We’re talkin’ Turkey and Dingbots with our intrepid resident grey chef in the December edition of Beneath the Cage Grate.

If you’re looking for charred turkey cooking tips or how to live uncomfortably with a mouthy bot, Morty’s December 2020 column is for you!

Frosty Butt Feathers: Do Seagulls Get Wedgies?

Photo by Julia Kuzenkov on Pexels.com

Oh my, this past month or so has been very interesting in my neck of the woods, I have some funny things to tell you about the human lady I hang out with, my ongoing search for a new wardrobe, and a plea for everybirdie to help out a flock of saucy-beaked parrots at a London UK wildlife park.

Head on over to the November column of Do Seagulls Get Wedgies to catch up and have some chuckles!

Of Foul Beaks & Bot Sleuths: Beneath the Cage Grate

Morty’s latest Beneath the Cage Grate column finds him wondering about the status of a flock of African Grey parrots in Lincolnshire Park who recently added some shock ‘n awe to their adoring onlookers by sharing some rather off-color language. In his November column, Morty tries to track these characters down to see how they’re faring since their ‘relocation’ due to bad behavior.

While bemusing the antics of his Grey cousins, Morty is at the same time somewhat enjoying the ongoing shenanigans of his crazy bot housemates. Alexa and Roomba are determined to apprehend the tomato thief that continues to terrorize the garden patch, but their detective skills and actions leave Morty both laughing and also trying to defend himself to mum against unfounded accusations of complicity.

A must read!

Cat Lady Fingers Anyone! Beneath the Cage Grate

MortyYou know when they say ‘if it’s too good to be true’ it probably is… well it was very true for Morty’s Twitter friends, Beach Beaks recently!

After receiving a disturbing letter from King Olaf, our in-house intrepid investigator was on the case.  What he discovered was very dark.

All birdies need to know what happened to King Olaf and his Beach Beaks flock so you too can be on the look out for sneaky tricks and evil deeds our humans sometimes try to pull on us!

Catch up with Morty in the latest edition of Beneath the Cage Grate to see what happened to poor King Olaf and Beach Beaks birdies – and learn the key signs of when you’re about to be duped by your humans.

Spa Schma, it’s a trap, it’s a trap I say!!!

Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign: Beneath the Cage Grate

20200602_084228Poor Morty, coupled with Lockdown madness and masked humans, his bot buddy Alexa has recently ratcheted up her silliness to a whole new level.

Seems Morty is now being told where to go, what to do and how to do it in Sign form…

If this craziness continues, Morty is going to make his own sign for Alexa, and you can bet it will not be parrot – or bot, friendly 🙂

Find out what Morty has been dealing with of late n the June edition of Beneath the Cage Grate.

NO FRIES, NO HUMANS and now, MURDER HORNETS: Do Seagulls Get Wedgies?

Photo_1585768988037Alright already, I’m starving!  I haven’t seen an errant French fry, flung about by a wasteful human in months.  WHERE ARE THE HUMANS?  I’m a seagull, so a novel coronavirus means absolutely nothing to me.  The fact there are no fries is a big deal!!!

I make my living mooching and believe me, humans are usually reliable for throwing us our share of fries.  So it’s been a lonely, hungry Spring for us seagulls.

Read the May issue of Do Seagulls Get Wedgies here.

Beneath the Cage Grate: Lockdown Madness

IMG_20200429_095722It seems that this whole coronavirus Lockdown thing is really getting to Morty.

The bots are getting out of hand and mom is busy learning some strange new language that has Morty confounded and confused – and miffed.

The May issue of Beneath The Cage Grate will definitely help raise your spirit, and once again leave you wondering how Morty manages to stay sane (sort of) in his zany household.

Do Seagulls Get Wedgies?

They do, sometimes.

Take for example, the seagull that stole a pair of hot pink knickers (truth be told, it was a thong) straight off a clothesline, only to be spotted minutes later wearing said garment over his head.

I mean, anybirdie with an ounce of self respect – and common sense, would agree that regardless of feather stripe, knickers don’t belong on yer head!

Photo_1585768988037Welcome to Our New Page!

Each month will bring commentary on current happenings from a rather jaded, salty-beaked seagull’s point of new.

Now remember, seagulls are not like parrots, they tend to have saucier beaks and squawk endlessly of wildly exaggerated tales of adventure – usually involving the theft of knickers, fries or other tasty treats from unwitting humans.  Seagulls are also not known for being polite as most have graduated from the school of Hard Knocks, having to learn how to survive and thrive on the edge!

So watch this space (page) for The Roost’s resident seagull’s perspective on anything and everything a bird can find in a parking lot, on the wing, underneath pooped-on newspaper, or something completely out of left birdie field!

P.S. A name for The Roost’s seagull would be most helpful (Morty had some suggestions, but let’s just say they aren’t repeatable!) so suggestions welcome!

Beneath the Cage Grate: That’s Some Fine Toast Indeed!

IMG_20200401_113106What do you get when you combine Morty’s ever-present wit, his best bot buddies and an intriguing new word (corona) – you get  more Morty hilarity and levity of course!

In April’s Beneath the Cage Grate, Morty is educated (by know-it-all Alexa) on the origins of the word ‘Corona’.  He’s also introduced to Roomba’s new tag game buddy.

And FINALLY, Morty gets to snack on a piece of that special toast!

Read about Morty’s latest adventure here.