Easter Egg-venture, Dingbot Style: Beneath the Cage Grate

Oh dear, it seems Alexa and Roomba’s Easter egg hunt took a couple of wrong, and funny, turns. Morty of course was closely observing their antics from a safe distance, careful to get the whole story whilst not getting his feathers tarnished (or dipped in egg).

Everybirdie should hop on over to Morty’s April column to read about his two roommates’ Easter egg-venture!

The Landmark Interview: Beneath the Cage Grate

Here it is folks, the interview everybirdie has been waiting for! Morty travels to the UK to perch down with the 5 Cursing Parrots of Lincolnshire Park. In this in-depth investigative report, Morty uncovers the truth behind how the group managed to get into so much trouble.

Catch up with Morty here to hear about his big UK adventure, and what he uncovered about the rascals and wallflowers among the Fab Five of Lincolnshire Park!

Say What? Beneath the Cage Grate

In the February edition of Beneath the Cage Grate, Morty catches up with the saucy beaked parrots of Lincolnshire Park in the United Kingdom.

It seems some ‘remedial behavioral’ intervention by zookeepers has only helped to ramp up this flock’s salty language.

Follow along here as Morty investigates how the Lincolnshire Park Greys have ‘settled in’ over the last few months!

Talkin’ Turkey with the Dingbots: Beneath the Cage Grate

Oh dear, it looks like Morty’s arch nemesis Alexa is at it again, wreaking havoc with Morty’s Thanksgiving’ turkey ambitions and planting the seeds for a festive Dingbot Jingles Christmas.

Listening to Alexa regarding cooking the Thanksgiving turkey was Morty’s first mistake….

We’re talkin’ Turkey and Dingbots with our intrepid resident grey chef in the December edition of Beneath the Cage Grate.

If you’re looking for charred turkey cooking tips or how to live uncomfortably with a mouthy bot, Morty’s December 2020 column is for you!

Of Foul Beaks & Bot Sleuths: Beneath the Cage Grate

Morty’s latest Beneath the Cage Grate column finds him wondering about the status of a flock of African Grey parrots in Lincolnshire Park who recently added some shock ‘n awe to their adoring onlookers by sharing some rather off-color language. In his November column, Morty tries to track these characters down to see how they’re faring since their ‘relocation’ due to bad behavior.

While bemusing the antics of his Grey cousins, Morty is at the same time somewhat enjoying the ongoing shenanigans of his crazy bot housemates. Alexa and Roomba are determined to apprehend the tomato thief that continues to terrorize the garden patch, but their detective skills and actions leave Morty both laughing and also trying to defend himself to mum against unfounded accusations of complicity.

A must read!

Bratbird: Beneath the Cage Grate

Morty’s latest escapade takes him on a mission to right the wrongs perpetrated by an errant little Goldfinch who’s wreaking havoc in mum’s garden.

Morty confronts this pipsqueak and demands it refrain from damaging any more of mum’s beloved plants.

However, Bratbird’s reaction to Morty’s plea only inflates his feathers! See how Morty deals with this little upstart in the August issue of Beneath the Cage Grate.

NO FRIES, NO HUMANS and now, MURDER HORNETS: Do Seagulls Get Wedgies?

Photo_1585768988037Alright already, I’m starving!  I haven’t seen an errant French fry, flung about by a wasteful human in months.  WHERE ARE THE HUMANS?  I’m a seagull, so a novel coronavirus means absolutely nothing to me.  The fact there are no fries is a big deal!!!

I make my living mooching and believe me, humans are usually reliable for throwing us our share of fries.  So it’s been a lonely, hungry Spring for us seagulls.

Read the May issue of Do Seagulls Get Wedgies here.

Beneath the Cage Grate: Lockdown Madness

IMG_20200429_095722It seems that this whole coronavirus Lockdown thing is really getting to Morty.

The bots are getting out of hand and mom is busy learning some strange new language that has Morty confounded and confused – and miffed.

The May issue of Beneath The Cage Grate will definitely help raise your spirit, and once again leave you wondering how Morty manages to stay sane (sort of) in his zany household.

Do Seagulls Get Wedgies?

They do, sometimes.

Take for example, the seagull that stole a pair of hot pink knickers (truth be told, it was a thong) straight off a clothesline, only to be spotted minutes later wearing said garment over his head.

I mean, anybirdie with an ounce of self respect – and common sense, would agree that regardless of feather stripe, knickers don’t belong on yer head!

Photo_1585768988037Welcome to Our New Page!

Each month will bring commentary on current happenings from a rather jaded, salty-beaked seagull’s point of new.

Now remember, seagulls are not like parrots, they tend to have saucier beaks and squawk endlessly of wildly exaggerated tales of adventure – usually involving the theft of knickers, fries or other tasty treats from unwitting humans.  Seagulls are also not known for being polite as most have graduated from the school of Hard Knocks, having to learn how to survive and thrive on the edge!

So watch this space (page) for The Roost’s resident seagull’s perspective on anything and everything a bird can find in a parking lot, on the wing, underneath pooped-on newspaper, or something completely out of left birdie field!

P.S. A name for The Roost’s seagull would be most helpful (Morty had some suggestions, but let’s just say they aren’t repeatable!) so suggestions welcome!